Scott and I married in June 2008
Although we had both been married before and Scott had 2 adopted, grown sons, neither of us had children of our own. We had a very strong desire to start a family and personally, I longed to be pregnant and have a baby. To see the bump grow, to feel it move and live inside me, to give life and a name to a little person and experience all the joy that goes with that experience....baby showers, maternity clothes, big boobs, strollers, stretch marks, nursing...I wanted it all! Along with this desire, we both had a soft spot in our hearts for adoption. We were both adopted by our Dads as small children and were raised by them and our Moms in a positive and loving environment. And, as I mentioned, Scott had already adopted 2 sons from his previous marriage. We knew somehow, this would be a part of our parenting journey, but at the time could never have imagined our path. In an effort to get pregnant, I had surgeries, we tried fertility drugs and artificial insemination several times. We knew "I was the problem", but no one could ever find what the problem was. "You're trying too hard", "You need to stop thinking about it so much" (love that one!), "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" (funny people), "Give it to God" (I did, 1000 times).....the advice was as welcomed as my period every month, smothering me with the fact that, again, I was not pregnant.
After a total of 8 years trying, pleading, crying, begging, then trying some more, we decided to look into adoption. After researching all options, we settled on the foster to adopt program. We were both educators and knew first hand the need some kids have just to have a safe place to call home, and we knew we could offer that while we waited for our baby. After the 6 week training course, mounds of paperwork, home studies, family and friends recommendations accepted, our home was open and we were officially foster parents. They tell you in training that if you are hoping to adopt a baby, you are in the wrong place, or at best will be waiting a very long time. Most babies come with older siblings, or a wealth of health concerns, but we knew we wanted a baby, either through adoption or naturally. So in a Field of Dreams, "If you build it, they will come", kind of way, we bought a crib. This was a little hard for Scott to agree with at first. He didn't want to be the crazy guy with a crib, and no baby in sight. But, I kept pleading...."If we have faith that our prayers will be answered, then we should be ready when it happens." And so we got the crib, set it up and prayed each night for God to fill it. That was the spring of 2009. It sat empty for 5 months.