After the uncertain times, while a foster child is in your home, when you are never guaranteed anything, it's hard to sit patiently after TPR (termination of parental rights), which you may recall, was in December, for others who do not have the same sense of urgency that we do, complete paperwork, schedule dates, or whatever else it is they are doing. I know it's a very lengthy process and it's oh, so important to do it right the first time around, but mercy. While we appreciate those working on our behalf, this little girl has been ours for almost 2 years and we are ready to make it official!!
Quick recap on where were were at the time.... In June of 2013 it had been six months since the adoption of the boys. Elijah was almost 2, Mason 3 and Timothy a few months from turning 4. We had spent the previous six months trying to decide if we were ready to close our home to foster care and call our family complete. Or if we were willing to stay open, knowing what placements we were willing to take were very uncommon and most likely, we'd spend another year saying 'no' to what calls we may receive. We hadn't accepted a placement since I was pregnant two summers before, which was the little girl who stayed only 24 hours. Nothing else seemed like a good fit with our three sons.
If I had to be honest, I was ready to close our home. I liked being a mommy to these guys, and wasn't sure I wanted to risk having a girl come along, or another boy who would 'mess up' the family life we had established. A boy mom....no hair to brush and braid, no pink skirts, no baby dolls, and no having to tell her she would play ball, not be a cheerleader! After almost two years, we had found our groove and for me, adding another would only rock the boat, and I didn't want that.
Scott felt a little different than I did. He had 'a feeling' we should stay open one more year and see what happened. Just be open to the possibility in case God wasn't done with our family. I didn't need much convincing, and knew we would only accept a placement if we both felt it was right. So, that June we submitted our annual paperwork to remain open another year.
On July 24th, 2013, (one month later) Scott met our pastor for lunch, as they occasionally do, at a local Subway restaurant. Half way through their meal, a social worker we know well, approached Scott and said, "We have a situation you and Julia might be able to help us with. It's a five month old baby girl that will most likely will become an adoption. She is 'failure to thrive' and we can't find anyone to take her."
One month. Remember my boat I didn't want rocked? It got rocked that day with just a few words when Scott called to share what she had told him.
Baby girl. Failure to thrive. No one wants her.
So, he relayed a few questions I was asking to the social worker and gave her responses back to me. We learned the baby girl was already in another foster home who did not want to keep her. My final question was simply, why don't they want her? She got permission from the foster parents to share their number and I called the current foster mom. I was wondering if it was something like, "she cries all night long", or "she has some medical challenges", or "she has projectile vomit twice a day". But her response was fairly simple. They had two young kids already and felt it was too much.
But I had three young kids. Would it be too much for us? It was my only sense of trepidation, which was quickly overcome with Scott's boasting on my maternal abilities. Right or wrong, if he thought I could handle it, that was enough for me. My last question to him.... "Are we doing this?" was answered with one of our biggest words, "Yes".