Give Us This Day

We all have them, the seasons of struggle, hurt, loss, conflict, pain... Where you feel it keeps piling on and at each new turn you are sure it is all you can bear.  But somehow, you are able. Somehow, through tears, frustration, pain, you find the hope, the strength, the need and desire and you keep on. Sometimes just because. Sometimes because others need you. Sometimes because, lets be honest, what else would you do? Quit? Leave? For most of us, it doesn't work like that. We are fighters and survivors with strength we know nothing of.

We are in one such season. The short list includes, but not limited to:

Gram. Her health is declining. While none of us knows the hour, we can lean a little on statistics for the hope of many more years, but we no longer have that luxury with her. She's tired. Her body is weak. We all know what is to come, the question is when. Her health has declined about four times since last summer and each time she surprises us all with a mighty comeback, but each time takes a little more out of her. The strain of not knowing is heavy for me, as I watch her sleep more and do less.

Scott. Just a few weeks ago he had a simple procedure to remove a cancer spot on his ear go terribly bad, and now, has an almost identical spot on his other ear. The appointment is next week and should also be a simple procedure, but given the last time, you can understand our trepidation this time around.

A friend. We have friends in a foster care situation that shows the frustrating side of this system. It's not my story to give details about, but reminds me of the time we thought we might lose Timothy. The heartbreak and helplessness that goes with that is indescribable.While this is not our struggle to bear, I am bearing this hurt with her and am burdened for her and her family.

Me. Ugh. I'm having surgery soon. It's a woman thing. It's perfectly routine. I'll be fine. But ugh. The down time required is pretty long and we have a fairly busy existence with these four youths. Not lifting, or running, or zipping about my daily routine for six weeks will be bothersome. I'm not really complaining, but...did I say ugh? I just don't like surgery (I know, who does?). They have to interrupt my battery (pacemaker) when they put me under, I don't respond well to anesthesia, and generally speaking, I'm a big ole baby when it comes to this kind of stuff. I know everything will be fine, but I fret. Will Gram be ok? What if she needs me? Will the kids be ok completely without me for those first two to three days? (Of course, but I'm one of those, 'my whole world will fall apart without me' types. Yes, the Lord is working on my pride. Thank you for your prayers.)

Then there's the rest of life.... the homeschooling first grader, the potty training three year old, our six year old learning to read, baseball season is starting (yay!), sinus infections, laundry for days....the list goes on and on. In the same way the sun comes up each day, life rolls on, busy, wonderful, tiring, exciting and relentless…. whether we are in a difficult season or not. My daughter peed her pants about 15 minutes after I found out my Gram was having internal bleeding. It almost undid me. Peed her pants, ten feet from the bathroom, and I lost it. Life. Sometimes we are superheroes... Sometimes, we barely make it. 

This is where God met us recently. Trying simply to get through the day. Scott looked gently at me and said, "Give us this day, our daily bread". We don't need to worry about surgery two weeks away, we need to get through right now. Help Gram. School Timothy. Feed the kids. And sleep. Sometimes it really is that simple. Lord, just give us enough to get through right now. As manna fell from Heaven each night for the Israelites, He will meet our needs today.

If you are in such a season as this, don't forget the example set before us, 

Our Father, who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not, into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory forever. Amen.