Who knew such a sweaty, dirty, utilitarian, appendage could mean so much when it comes to the work of Jesus!? As part of our Africa mission trip team building, scripture studying, heart preparing efforts, we were to choose a scripture about feet, study it, meditate on it, memorize it, and see what all the Lord would show us through that verse over the course of a month.
My verse is Psalm 94:18-19, If I say, "my foot slips", your love will hold me up. In the multitude of my anxieties within me, your comforts delight my soul.
At first, I would focus in on a word, like comforts, and kinda repeat it in my head wondering if the Lord would give me some revelation about that word that I chose. For a few days I'd look at a particular phrase, delight my soul, and mull that around a bit. This went on for about a week, with me trying to take the lead, then finally I decided to sit and read my scripture and see what came when I waited on the Lord.
What filled my mind has stuck with me in such a beautifully vivid, very alive kind of way. When we finally reach a place of calling out to God, it's usually not in a calm, everyday run of the mill voice, as if you're calling to your husband at the other end of the table. No, more than likely, it's a desperate plea, voice cracking, tears in your eyes, calling out because nothing else has worked and you just can't do it on your own, kind of voice. The picture that filled my head as I sat there, was something like this as I realized, if my literal foot was literally slipping of the edge of a cliff and I called to God because God was all I had, what would that sound like? How desperate would that cry be? I pictured His hand reaching out for me, His love holding me. And in the "multitude of my anxieties", (because I reckon I'd have a few if I were literally falling off the edge of a cliff) "His comforts delight my soul". In the middle of that intense and frightening situation God had just showed me, His love washed away all fear. My hand was reaching for the One who knows me and loves me best. The One who created me in my mother's womb, who has a plan for my life, to prosper and not to harm. The One who has called me to this life that scares, frustrates, disappoints, hurts, burdens.... but when our hands met, and I knew His love would hold me, His comfort brought great delight to my soul.
It has given me such a sense of peace to realize that my foot doesn't have to be literally slipping over the edge of an actual mountain for me to call on the Lord. Whatever path I'm walking today....parenting my littles, caring for a grandparent, homeschooling, doctor appointments, housekeeping, a mission trip to Africa....whatever path it is, most likely there will be a moment, maybe several, where my foot will slip off the path. Failures will happen, I will get lost, get angry, get discouraged, I will be hurt, sad or afraid. If I say, "My foot slips", God's love will hold me up. In the multitude of my anxieties, His comforts delight my soul."
I have found, since this time of scripture study, that God's comfort does indeed delight my soul, when I allow Him to hold me up. When I turn over my anxieties to Him and trust Him with my heart...the comfort there is like a warm embrace that fills my soul.
We are approaching our final weeks before the trip. What once was a heart full of trepidation and anxiousness, has transformed into a heart that has found joy and excitement. I know, without doubt, that marinating and simmering in that scripture these past months has everything to do with that transformation.