We hear and read all. the. time. that we should not compare our kids to their same age peers, or even their siblings. But, from the time we begin wondering if they should have already rolled over, when Sally's little sisters cousin did a week ago, we do, and it continues when they are learning to use scissors, or read, write or ride a bike, or play a sport....we compare.
Sadly, comparing is easy to do.... "Your kid eats broccoli?!".... "My kid is nowhere near that athletic."... "He's just not picking up this math like his brother did."... or for us, our most recent, "WHY won't you tie your own shoes?! Your brother did by five and you are almost eight!"
Our middle son will be eight soon and was still not tying his own shoes. He'd try, off and on, but just wasn't all that worried about it, so would give up trying very quickly. Our oldest has always been much more proactive about being independent and was tying his shoes by about five, so, while we've been patient for a very long time, it was beginning to wear thin, especially since we really needed to be teaching our six year old!
And then, the other night, after a morning of basketball and having us fuss a little that he has got to figure this out, he sat down with his shoes in hand and asked his Dad to show him one more time... BAM! Just like that, he's a shoe tier! After watching his brothers success, our six year old ran after another shoe and said he wanted to learn too. Within twenty minutes we had two boys tying their shoes, celebrating this small, but important victory!!
So, the tip..... at least in our house.... staying patient, calm, judgement free, and lovingly prompting age appropriate skills has proven to be the most effective way for our kids to find success at their pace. It was true of potty training, tying shoes, and is proving to be true of our daughter, who has been much slower at picking up phonics blends than her brothers. (A comparison! In the middle of a blog about not comparing! AHHH!)
It can be tough to not compare, but I guarantee you, and your kids, will be happier if you can avoid it and have a little faith that each will come into it in their own good time.
Be blessed Momma,